6 Steps to Seduction
by Shachimin
Summary: Gaara is at his rope's end when the women of Sunagakure are in hot pursuit of their Kazekage.Gaara takes the unintended advice of Kankurou in hopes to dissuade the ladies from their chase,but will pretending to be gay really work? CONTAINS MANGA SPOILERS
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Naruto; the series is owned and created by Masashi Kishimoto-sensei**

Not many things can make Uzumaki Naruto speechless, the number of times the blond was caught being gob smacked can be counted on one hand. But here he was, standing in front of his long time friend and ally, the leader of Sunagakure, in his office with his mouth hanging open.

"…uuuh". The blond said intelligently.

Naruto took a deep breath; he must have heard Gaara wrong or misunderstood the meaning of his words like he usually does.

"Could you run that by me again? I...I don't think I really got it"

It was now Gaara's turn to sigh in exasperation at his friends stalling. Here he was having a crisis, and the one friend he felt he could rely on was acting dim.

"Naruto I trust you to keep it together and not react in the same way Kankurou had"

"What did Kankurou do?"

Gaara leaned further back in his chair as he recalled the dreadful event. It happened no more than a week ago, when the attentions of the female population of Sunagakure were becoming more than what the Kazekage could handle. He could not have a moment to himself outside the office walls.

Constantly being hounded to the point of madness; he sought his brother's advice on how to further dissuade the ladies.

"Are you out of your mind?!?!" was the wise brother's response. "All us average guys are struggling to snag chicks and you're here complaining that they're giving you _too much_ attention!!"

"Attention is putting it lightly; this is a downright harassment and invasion of my privacy!"

Kankurou scoffed at Gaara, sure the women were a bit head-over-heals when it came to his brother but Gaara had always handled them well with his aloof attitude; until today that is.

It has been 3 years since Gaara almost died at the hands of Akatsuki. And in those years Kankurou's baby brother had grown into a man, a leader. People didn't fail to notice how the handsome youth had filled out nicely; growing an extra few centimetres in height. As for his character; Kankurou didn't think Gaara could grow any older, but the Kazekage had the soul of an old man; opting to have quiet evenings at home than to spend time with people his age having 'fun'.

That did not deter the ladies in the least bit; they persistently tried to win their Kazekage's attention to the point of desperation. And that was when the stalking began. One would think that a bunch of those ninjas had better sense than to stalk the man who was given the title of the strongest ninja in the village.

Of course Gaara would never harm any of them, but that didn't mean that his patience wasn't reaching its limit, and that is where Kankurou is supposed to come in.

The puppet user scratched his head in contemplation, and then a devious smile crept on his painted face.

The only way to stop a horde of hormonal women was to destroy their image of a single, available Kazekage into…

"…I've got it!!"

Gaara looked up at his brother's face; he had a sinking feeling that whatever solution Kankurou was about to offer; he would not like it one bit. But Gaara was the one to ask for help so he must hear his brother out first before making a hasty decision.

The Kazekage's stare bore into his brother as he waited for Kankurou to speak. The puppet user needed no more encouragement than that.

"Y'see the problem is that you're available, so if you had someone then that would definitely put them off the chase!"

"How will that solve my predicament? I fail to see your reasoning!"

Kankurou took a deep breath, that wasn't all he wanted to say, there was a slight twist in his 'genius plan'

"You need to let me finish first okay? I know that just having a girl isn't enough. On the other hand you'll have a battle royal on your hands. When I said look 'unavailable' I meant it in a way that would make those ladies lose all hope"

"And what way is that?"

"…You need to be gay"

"……"

Kankurou closed his eyes tightly; expecting the wave of sand to throw him out of his brother's office, he had only meant to say that as a joke to lighten his brother's mood, but the blow never came. Kankurou slowly opened his eyes to see Gaara looking down with his brows furrowed in deep thought.

_No. Fucking. Way. _

Gaara looked up into his brothers eyes with determination written across his face, and as soon as the red head was about to speak Kankurou put his hands in front of himself; shaking his head in an attempt to shield himself from the words his brother was about to say.

"Don't go there Gaara! I only meant it as a joke! I want to help you out but I am definitely NOT going that far!"

"But you said…"

"Forget what I said! Just forget it!" Kankurou yelled in exasperation, Gaara narrowed his eyes at his brother. Why was he being so difficult? It was his idea originally.

"We would just be pretending…"

"No, no, no…"

"…And you are the only one in Suna I can trust"

"…No friggin way! No! I am not into incest, even if it's pretend!"

Gaara made a move to stand; Kankurou took that as his queue to vamoose and get as far away from Gaara as possible, but he wasn't fast enough to beat the sand as it caught him by the ankle and flung him out of the office through the window.

Although it was true that Gaara trusted Kankurou the most in Sunagakure, he still had another friend whom he could trust implicitly in this _delicate_ matter.

And that was what brought Naruto to him, the blond had been sent to Suna on a mission which gave Gaara the perfect opportunity to 'proposition' his friend.

"Eeeeeeeehhhh!!" said the blond after hearing Gaara's recollection of the previous week's events.

"I don't know Gaara, aren't you overreacting a bit?!?"

Two hands slammed on the desk as Gaara stood in a whirl of sand and fury.

"'Overreacting'?!? Me?!? " Yelled the redhead. He had to put a stop to this fiasco before he lost all his sense of humanity and buried the lot in a wave of sand.

"Do you have any idea how _persistent_ they are?! I cannot even bathe in peace! 2 nights ago one twit tried to sneak into my bed! I thought it was an assassination attempt and nearly stuffed the daft woman with sand! And you _dare _to say that _I_ am overreacting?!"

"Whoa! Don't you have your own ANBU guarding you?"

"She was the ANBU captain" hissed the redhead.

"Oh…shit"

"The situation has gotten out of hand, I cannot afford another mishap! This tomfoolery must stop _now!_"

"So you want me to…"

"Put them off the chase"

"And to do that I have to…"

"Be gay, and 'with' me"

_Be with me_, hearing those words made Naruto's blood rush to his cheeks; in embarrassment of course. He had no idea how to go about Gaara's plan and if it was anyone else asking this of him; he would have immediately declined. He was not into that kind of thing, and would never even pretend to be so. Just the thought of another man touching him in that way made him shudder. But for some reason, because Gaara is the one asking, the thought doesn't seem so repulsive anymore. He wondered why that was so, and figured it was because Gaara was not just any guy, he was his good friend, a friend whom he had a special kind of bond with; the kind that can only come to be when two people have shared the same god awful fate.

And also, Gaara is not the kind of guy to ask for favours. Which means that he really is at the end of his rope, and there is no way Naruto was going to leave him hanging.

"All right…"

Gaara made his way around his desk and stood in front of Naruto, the blond had just mumbled something that almost sounded like consent.

"Say that again"

"I said 'all right', I'll help you out" The blond lifted his eyes to meet his friend's inquisitive stare. Once Gaara made sure that Naruto was serious he rewarded the blond with one of his rare toothy smiles that made Naruto's heart jump.

"Thank you"


	2. Step 1: Stake Your Claim

At the centre of Sunagakure in the sweltering heat of the afternoon sun, lay the market place in the hustle and bustle of daily life. The food stalls were stacked with nuts and freshly picked fruits, other shop keepers had their wares up for display on the crowded street to attract customers, salesmen were shouting out the reductions of the day and customers in turn would haggle for every penny.

An inconspicuous tea shop lay amidst this lively part of town, where a not-so-inconspicuous Kazekage and his companion were sitting on a bench, sipping mint tea.

Unbeknownst to the untrained eye, the scene may look like nothing more than what it seems, but to the heightened senses of trained Shinobi; the tea shop was surrounded by deadly ninjas hidden in the shadows. Naruto's nerves were a wreck as he felt the hungry stares of the Shinobi in hiding; the air became stale with their poorly disguised want.

Gaara on the other hand was quietly cradling his tea mug between both hands, he took a small sip from the hot drink then placed it on his right side of the bench; he then turned to his left to face his friend.

"Why haven't they left yet?" The red head whispered. Naruto was surprised to see Gaara make that kind of face, his forehead was wrinkled in indignation and lo-and-behold he was pouting. Gaara of the desert was whining. And to Naruto's horror; he thought it was cute.

Shaking his head to rid himself of any thoughts that had the words 'Gaara' and 'cute' in the same sentence, Naruto then turned his attention to a more pressing matter. If Gaara wanted this plan to work, then he would have to up his game for it to sell.

Two blokes sitting in the busiest part of town, drinking tea would not rouse the suspicions of even the most devious of minds.

"They are not buying it, that's why they are not leaving."

"But I thought that this goes strictly under the category of courting…was I wrong?"

"Courting? What the hell are you talking about? And where did you get _that_ idea from? I used to have tea breaks with Sasuke all the time and…" Naruto stopped himself before he could finish, the memory was still too painful. After their first attempt at attacking Konoha; team eagle had managed to flee amidst the chaos and were still at large.

"And you deny your attempts to court the Uchiha at the time?"

"WHAT?" Naruto could not believe his ears, even for someone whose character was naturally gruff and direct like Gaara, this was going too far. What did Gaara know anyway about his friendship with Sasuke?

"I didn't _attempt_ to do anything" Naruto spat the words with a hint of anger. Was Gaara confusing him for those hormonally crazed stalkers of his?

"Hmm" Sensing he had upset his friend, the red head made no further comment. Instead he stretched his arms above his head then calmly draped his left arm around Naruto's shoulders whilst still innocently watching the people on the street passing by. Naruto acted as if he was struck by lighting, forgetting the plan in his moment of anger towards his friend; he tried to jerk Gaara's arm off his shoulder but instead he accidentally knocked his tea mug; spilling its scalding contents right into his lap.

"Gaaah!! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

Naruto stood and tried to cool the burning sensation by shoving his hand in his pants and rubbing at his scalding skin, if only he could take his trousers off, suddenly a hand with a bunch of napkins was dabbing at his thigh, Naruto stopped moving to stare at his friend who had a look of concentration plastered on his handsome face.

Naruto's face turned beet red as he grabbed the wad of tissues and sat back down with a huff.

"I'll wipe it myself" the blond mumbled.

"You really are such a klutz, is that what makes you the most unpredictable ninja?"

"Che! This is all your fault! Freaking me out like that!"

Gaara smiled at his friend, sitting out in the sun was not getting them any where and he had to get his friend home to change.

Gaara stood from his place after leaving some coins on the bench. He then grabbed Naruto's hand and pulled him up; sand whirled around them as if they were in the middle of a sand hurricane. And when it finally lit up, Naruto found himself in the private quarters of the Kazekage and his siblings. It never ceased to amaze him how convenient Gaara's sand truly is.

The Kazekage showed Naruto the guest room that he will be using during his stay, Naruto decided to use this opportunity to take a shower before changing.

Thinking that Gaara would most likely be back in his office working on some document or other, Naruto was surprised to find his friend sitting on the couch in the make-shift living area, with a bunch of documents scrolled across the coffee table. The red head was holding yet another cup of tea whilst scrutinizing the contents of a scroll.

"You can work at home too huh?"

Gaara looked up to find Naruto in a pair of sweat pants and no shirt, his hair was still wet from his shower, and droplets of water glistened against his rippling muscles. The Kazekage found himself unconsciously staring at his friend's exposed skin, try as he might he couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight before him. The musky smell of Naruto's shampoo invaded his keen sense of smell in a flurry of colours and sensations. He looked at the blond's face and noticed the lips were moving; he wasn't paying attention to the words as he was too entranced by the sensuous mouth.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!?"

"Huh?" The red head snapped out of his reverie, he must be really exhausted if he is getting this easily distracted, maybe he was sitting out in the sun for too long.

"I said I'm sorry about today, I wasn't much help to you was I?"

"Oh" said the red head simply. He put down his tea cup, and stood to open a window and let in some fresh air, the room was suddenly very stuffy.

Naruto flung himself across the other end of the couch and placed his feet on top of the coffee table after pushing aside some scrolls.

Gaara made his way back, but hesitated a bit before he sat down, the air between him and Naruto felt different all of a sudden. And he couldn't figure out why. Or rather he didn't allow himself to think it.

Trying to get back to his work proved to be an impossible task, Gaara looked back at his friend and noticed him reading one of Kankurou's comic books that were probably pressed in between the mattress.

Gaara cleared his throat in an attempt to gain the blond's attention; Naruto in turn snickered at a funny comic strip then turned a page. The sand snatched the comic from the blond's hands. Naruto turned to glare at his friend.

"Stop showing off will ya?"

"About today…"

"Yeah…?"

"I think you were right"

"I know I was right"

It was now Gaara's turn to glare at his friend.

"So what do you propose we do? Tell me from your own personal experience"

The blond scratched his head in deep thought. If he was to be completely honest then he would admit to having no experience in dating. The closest he ever came to having one was when he paid for Sakura's Ramen at Ichiraku after a grueling training session. He wondered now if that even counted as experience. Rather than searching for a clue to help solve this predicament from his own life, Naruto started to take into account the personal lives of his friends back home.

The first example that came to mind was when Kiba and Hinata got together. Being shy to a fault, no one expected Hinata to be an early bloomer (and not just in terms of physical attributes) she had caught the attention of Konoha's male population and was being hounded non-stop by colleagues, superiors and students alike. All fell under her spell and followed her around like love-struck pups. This, however, did not sit well with her teammate Kiba.

The dog boy had made it very clear to all those would-be suitors that if they so much as glanced at Hinata in a telling way, then they should be prepared to have their heads chewed off by him and his loyal hound Akamaru.

So in this case, possessiveness was a key factor in eliminating competitors. However, the idea of him battling it out with the women-folk of Sunagakure did not sit well with Naruto. But if he was to find a different non-violent approach to seeming possessive then things would not necessarily have to go as far as they did in Kiba's case, this further convinced Naruto to share Kiba's story with Gaara in hopes of giving his friend some peace of mind, the red head showed a glimmer of hope in his Azure eyes.

"Yes…this could actually work" Said Gaara in a bemused tone

Naruto snickered at his friend's expression; he gave the Kazekage Lee's classic 'nice guy' pose while puffing his chest out.

"Just leave it to me Gaara!"


End file.
